Feb. 17, 2005, Kisses
in the Wind:
The candlelight
in my cabin is barely enough to see words leave my pen. I don't know
if I would have the fortitude to keep the pen moving across the page,
if cold were added on top of dark. But, I am not tested that way tonight.
The furnishings
here are meager, but my requirements are few. I have seating for four,
at least four who are friendly and fine-boned; a comfortable bed, big
enough for one person and two dogs; a kitchenette; and a closet-sized
bathtub.
There
is dining service for four, too, bright yellow plastic cups and plates
from a retired picnic basket. The copper pot at the door awaits spring
planting and a delicately framed mirror holds the magnificent conch
shell reminding me of the kindness of strangers.
Heavy
curtains keep out the worst of the cold and the remnant biker motif
of half-naked women conveniently wards off those with delicate taste.
It's a place of my own where I can entertain my own thoughts and please
myself with a cup of hot cocoa in solitude.
Having
grown up in a family of five children, I rarely knew the small pleasure
of time to myself, perhaps not since I was five, digging in the cool
dirt, under my grandfather's avocado trees. Then, I used a kitchen spoon
to dig whole cities for imaginary mice, while I contemplated the absence
of my father.
When I
recently said to my former lover, "It's hard to get over you,"
and he replied, "I'll help you," I knew I couldn't take another
ounce of that kind of help. There are some things you must do for yourself.
With cool,
sandy soil to tilI, I have the advantage of age, knowing that time heals,
work mends and kisses in the wind magically land where they are intended.